What a Play Wreck!
by One Little Star
Summary: Take the Sonic characters and tell them to do something right, and you get a play wreck. Love this story or perish! The future chapters will be longer. Read and review! READ, RED YA PREEEPPPZZZZZZZ!1111
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hello! I know what you're thinking: _There she goes again! Dosen't she know her first two stories were a complete train wreck?_ Well, the answer's _NO! _So, here's my attempt to do something good! Hope you love it!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Sonic charcters nor the script of Romeo and Juliet.**

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**Dawn of the First Scene: Verona; Mantua**

E-123 Omega entered, stage right. It was finally time for the featured presentation!

"Two households, both alike in dignity. In fair Verona, where we lay our scene." Omega began, "From ancient grudge break to new mutiny, where civil blood makes civil hands unclean. From forth the fatal loins of these two foes a pair of star-crossed lovers take their life; whose misadventured piteous overthrows doth with their death bury-" He suddenly found himself cut off by two hedgehogs squealing something along the lines of, "That's us!" from off-stage.

"A-hem," Omega called.

"Sorry!" They both yelled at the same time.

"Anyway," Omega began once more, "Death bury their parents strife. The fearful passage of their death-marked love, and the continuance of their parents' rage. Which, but their children's end, naught could remove. Is now the two hours' traffic of our stage; the which of you with patient ears attend, what here shall miss, our toll must strive to mend." Omega paused. "Since it clearly says in the script that I comment on this play, I must say that it was a real pain in the-"

"We're not mad-libbing Omega!" Blaze irritably cut off Omega from a spot unknown.

"Whatever!" He yelled back, exiting stage left.

Manic and Metal Sonic then entered on either side of the stage, swords of the Capulet house drawn.

"Gregory, on my word, we will not carry coals!" Manic hollered.

"No, for then we should be colliers!" Metal Sonic responded.

"I mean, ... oh-umm... oh! And we be in choler, we'll draw!" Manic stuttered.

"Ay, while you live, draw your neck out of collar!" Metal Sonic recited perfectly.

"I strike quickly, being moved- whatever that means." Manic retorted.

"But art thou not quickly moved to strike." Metal Sonic stated, ignoring what Manic added.

"A cat of the house of Montague moves me!" Manic exclaimed.

"To move is to stir, and to be valiant is to stand. Therefore, if thou art moved, thou run'st away."

"A wolf of that house shall move me to stand! I will take the wall of any man or maid of montague's."

"That shows thee a weak slave; for the weakest go to the wall."

"'Tis true; and therefore women, being the weaker vessels, are ever thrust to the wall. Therefore I will push Montague's men from the wall and thrust his maids to the wall."

Some feminine shouts arose from the audience.

"The quarrel is between our masters and their men."

"'Tis all one. I will show myself a tyrant. When I have fought with the men, I will be civil with the maids- I will cut off their- that's not civil at all! I will cut off their heads.

"The heads of the maids?"

The feminine shouts grew louder.

"Ay, the heads of the maids or their maiden-heads. Take it in what sense thou wilt."

A couple people in the audience went silent, a couple of those minority failing to suppress giggles.

"They must take it in what sense that feel it."

"Me they feel while I am able to stand; and 'tis known I am a pretty dang good lookin' piece of flesh!"

The horribly-hidden giggles became slightly more horribly hidden as a few of the silent members started either shifting uncomfortably or shaking their heads.

"'Tis thou art not fish; if thou hadst, thou-" Metal Sonic got cut off.

"Who ever said anyting about fish? I-" Manic got cut off.

"Let's have a brief intermission, so that some people can learn their _lines!_" Blaze shouted from her location.

The lights on stage went out, and yelling could clearly be heard from off-stage.

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**A/N: First off, do not read the modern English version of this, otherwise I'll have to rate this M. I'm serious. This is no joke. Oh, I know, now you're going to look up the modern English version of this because I told you not to! In that case, I would do the same; I don't blame you. Thanks to Misty Rius for helping me edit, you grammar nazi, and happy birthday to the birthdays around the world! **

**Please review, don't set fire to my story, AN STUP FLAMMIN YA PREPZ!1111 Have a good day!**


	2. Whoo! More Stupidness!

**A/N: Here comes the next chapter! Even though I doubt any of you care! Horray!**

**We meet once again, copyright!**

**Disclaimer: Again, I do not own Sonic the Hedgehog and company, or William Shakespeare's play of Romeo and Juliet. Dude, I don't even own the English language, I just use it... _most of the time,_ when I speak and write. I guess in other words, I _borrow it. _Just enjoy the story!**

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**Still Dawn of the First Scene: Same setting as last time...**

Blaze walked on stage with the curtains still closed. She cleared her throat.

"In keeping with Elizabethan tradition, I would like to announce that you will be supplied with items to throw at an actor, or _actress, _in the event that you feel that they are not doing very well. You will be given things like peanuts, popcorn, or even rotten tomatoes. Now, with this in mind, I give you our featured presentation!"

This was announcement was followed by several _'What?'_'s from off-stage.

Blaze walked off, and the curtains opened.

On the stage was Metal Sonic and...well, only Metal Sonic.

"But they're going to throw things at me!" A yell came from off stage, clearly in Manic's voice.

"No they're not, as long as you remember your lines!" The reply came as Tails' voice.

"Easy for you to say, Mister Smarty Pants! I can't remember all my lines, and I don't understand what half of them mean! What _language_ is it? _Spanish_?"

"It doesn't even _look_ like Spanish!"

"Maybe not to people like you! You probably read this kind of stuff on-"

Manic was shoved onto the stage.

"-a daily basis!"

Metal Sonic said his line before anything else could go wrong, "'Tis well thou art not fish; if thou hadst, thou hadst been poor John. Draw thy tool! Here comes two of the house of the Montagues."

"My- _ow!_" Manic hollered, as a walnut hit him in the back of the head. "_All right! W__ho's the wise_-" Manic got cut off again.

_"Your lines!"_ Blaze screamed from an unknown location.

_"I know! BUT I DON'T **SPEAK** SPANISH!"_

Big walked on stage, grabbing Manic.

"Hey, what are you doing? _Let go of me!_ I _WILL_ STEAL SONIC'S LAWYER!"

"Sorry." Big said, dragging Manic off-stage, where one could still hear hisses and threats. At one point, it was sharply cut off altogether.

A few minutes after that, Charmy Bee flew on-stage, dressed like Sampson. He squinted at something behind the audience.

"My weapon is quarrel- no- my _naked_," he giggled at that last word, "weapon is _out:_ quarrel, I'll back the- I mean- _thee._

By now everyone noticed that he was reading cue cards behind the audience.

Metal Sonic heaved a metallic sigh before saying his next line: "How! Turn thy back and run?"

"Yes! Oh, I mean, fear me not!" Charmy replied.

"No, marry; I fear thee!"

"Let's take the law and let them begin."

"...I will frown as I pass by, and let them take it as they list." Metal Sonic continued as if Charmy never made a mistake- or rather, _tons _of them- at all.

"Nay, as they dare. I will bite my thumb at them; which is a disgrace to them, if they bear it. Oh wow, that sounds more painful than insulting...well, I mean, if it _is_ supposed to be insulting." At that moment, some popcorn flew at Charmy, but he acted as if it weren't there.

Sonia and Mighty ran on from the other side of the stage.

"Do you bite your hand-eh, I mean- _thumb_ at us, sir?" Mighty demanded, stuttering a little.

"I do bite my thumb, sir, and I bet it hurts!" Charmy answered, causing a few sunflower seeds to fly at him. Yet again, he ignored them.

"Do you bite your thumb at _us_ sir?" Mighty asked again, secretly wondering why he had to ask twice.

"That depends. Is the law of our side if I say yes?"

It took a second for Mighty to realize that he was asking Sonia and himself the question.

"Ah...I'm not sure." He answered, "Why don't you ask _your friend?_" He nodded toward Metal Sonic, who was obviously confused and annoyed.

"Oh, okay. Hehe, Montagues are stupid." Charmy turned toward Metal Sonic. "Is the law on our side if I-"

_"No."_ Metal Sonic cut him off to avoid the repetition.

"Okay." Charmy turned back toward the 'Montagues.' "No, sir, I don't bite my thumb at _you,_ sir, but _sometimes _I bite my thumb."

It took everything Mighty had not to face-palm, while Sonia looked really irritated.

"Do you quarrel, sir?" Metal Sonic asked.

"Quarrel sir! No, sir." Mighty replied, somehow not letting his inner irritation show.

"If you do, sir, then I'm for ya: I..." Charmy squinted again, "I...serve as a good man."

"No better!" Mighty answered, not quite sure what Charmy meant.

"_Well_ then, sir." Charmy stated, sounding all-too dramatic as he turned away and crossed his arms.

Several whispers of W_hat is he doing?_ and even _The old guy was better._ began to surface from the audience, along with several peanuts that flew at Charmy. He appeared slightly annoyed, but gave it no more attention otherwise as Metal Sonic gave his next line.

"Say 'better:' here comes one of my master's kinsmen."

"Yes, better, sir." Charmy still didn't face Mighty, as if they were perhaps a couple who just broke up.

"You lie." Mighty replied, a bit afraid of how Charmy would react.

"_Lie!"_ The bee gasped, turning angrily. "How could you _say_ that? Draw, if you be men. Gregory, remember thy swashing blow." He drew his sword along with everyone else on stage...except Sonia.

"H-huh?" She stuttered, reddening. "Where is it? Why don't I have my..._oh._.." She appeared severely unamused and, before anyone could ask her about it, she cried out furiously, _"Manic!"_

Somewhere else, outside the theatre, Manic held his sister's sword in his hand, smirking. "That'll teach 'em to mess with me. Ah, souvenirs."

Back on stage, there were several moments of awkward silence before it was broken by Charmy hitting Mighty upside the head with the flat side of his fake blade.

"_Ow!"_ Mighty shouted, glaring at his 'opponent' for a second before swinging back.

Metal Sonic, fully aware of the fact that Sonia didn't have a weapon, started swinging at her. In defense, the girl smacked the blade away repeatedly while whining something about unfairness.

After nearly half a minute of this fight, Tails rushed onto the stage and started hitting everyone's blades downward, finally silencing Sonia while Charmy continued to death-glare at Mighty.

"Part, fools! Put up your swords; you know not what you do." Tails hollered.

Just as he said that, Antoine came out, fake sword drawn. "What, art zou drawn among zese heartless hinds? Turn zee, Benvolio, look upon zy death."

"I-" was all Tails managed to get out before he caught something out of the corner of his eye.

A tomato, obviously rotted beyond repair, flew at Antoine, looking like it was in slow motion. It soared over his head in slow motion, and then splattered on Charmy's face at normal speed.

There was a complete silence for a full minute, only broken slightly by someone in the audience saying, "_Dang it! Missed!"_

"Wh..._what the-_" Charmy began, fury to rival Knuckles lying beneath the red spattered all over his face.

Blaze was quick to rush out and cover his mouth before he could say any..._less-than-appropriate_ words. She turned to the audience and smiled with embarrassment. "Let's just have _one more_ intermission."

The lights went out abruptly, and the curtains dropped.

And that was that...for now.

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**A/N: Hope you guys loved it! Again, thank you Misty Rius, for helping me with the story. I hate it when you make me look stupid.**

_Well sor-ry. Don't gotta be so..._meh_ about it!_

**RED AN REVOW YA SINKIN PREEEEPPZZZZ!1111**


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